Self-regulation

How to help your child learn self-regulation  

Self-regulation is the ability to cope with daily ups and downs, big or small, good or bad. This skill is more complex than getting in control of our negative emotions. Self-regulation is about identifying, reducing and dealing with stressors. Your child will become skilled at self-regulation with your support, time and experiences.

How you can reduce your child's stress and help them learn self-regulation:  

Infants depend on their caregivers to meet all their needs. It is important to respond with love and understanding every time your baby needs you. Crying is their way to ask for help and comfort. When you respond to your baby's cries, it teaches them that you are there to meet their needs. When caregivers respond to their baby, it makes them feel secure. Try to learn your baby's different cries; this will guide you to find the best way to respond. 

Every baby is different and some babies cry more or less than other babies. You will get to know your baby's cries. Always, respond to your baby in a warm and sensitive way, and never shake or hurt your baby. You won't spoil your baby by responding to their needs and by comforting them. Feeling safe and secure is a baby's first step to learning self-regulation.

How you can help your child learn self-regulation: 

• Know the signs of stress in young children. Remember, each child is unique and may react in a different way.
• Identify the stressors and try to reduce them for your child.
• Help your child recognize what it feels like to be calm, focused and alert. Use words to name and define each feeling. Assist your toddler to get back to a calm state when needed. 

To find more parenting information, please visit:

• Ottawa Child and Youth Initiative’s Information for Parents/Caregivers
• Infant and early childhood mental health
• Growth and development for babies and toddlers
• School readiness