Bullying

Bullying:

Is not a fact of life.

Is not kids just being kids.

Is not part of growing up.

Is not an acceptable behaviour.

Physical Bullying:

Includes hitting, kicking, shoving, spitting, beating up, stealing or damaging property.

While physical bullying causes harm to a child's body or property, the forms of bullying below may cause psychological harm. Such offensive, degrading and rejecting behaviours undermine and destabilize victimized child's sense of self or their place in the world.

Verbal Bullying:

Includes name-calling, mocking, hurtful teasing, insults, slurs, humiliating or threatening someone, racist comments, or sexual harassment.

Social Bullying:

Includes rolling your eyes or turning away from someone, excluding others from the group, getting others to ignore or exclude, gossiping or spreading rumours, setting others up to look foolish, and damaging reputations and friendships.

Electronic or Cyberbullying:

Includes the use of email, cell phones, text messages, and internet sites to threaten, harass, embarrass, socially exclude, or damage reputations and friendships.

Racial Bullying:

Includes treating people badly because of their racial or ethnic background, saying bad things about a cultural background, calling someone racist names or telling racist jokes.

Religious Bullying:

Includes treating people badly because of their religious background or beliefs, making negative comments about a religious background or belief, calling someone names or telling jokes based on their religious beliefs in an effort to hurt them.

Sexual Bullying:

Includes leaving someone out; treating them badly, or making them feel uncomfortable because of their sex; making sexist comments or jokes; touching, pinching or grabbing someone in a sexual way; making crude comments about someone's sexual behaviour or orientation; or spreading a sexual rumour.

Disability Bullying:

Includes leaving someone out or treating them badly because of a disability, making someone feel uncomfortable, or making jokes to hurt someone because of a disability.

[1] http://www.prevnet.ca/bullying/types

Is a Child Engaging in Bullying?

• Uses aggression or violence to deal with conflict
• Unconcerned with other's feelings
• Manipulative
• Bossy
• Secretive
• Unexplained possessions or money
• Short temper
• Doesn't care or understand how their behaviour affects others  
• Easily gives in to peer pressure
• Peers engage in bullying
• Aggressive peers

Is a Child Being Bullied?

• Doesn't want to go to school
• Anxious and scared
• Negative attitude
• Poor self-esteem
• Somatic complaints
• Decreased interest in activities
• Trouble sleeping or often tired
• Doesn't have many friends
• Decline in school performance
• Injuries to body or damaged belongings
• Threatens to hurt self or others

The Talk

When talking to your child or youth about bullying consider the following:

• How can I help them stay safe?
• Do they need help to stop bullying others?
• What information do I need?
• Who has the responsibility to take action?
• Where can I go for help?

Creating a Safe Plan

• Identify who will check-in with them and when;
• Identify safe places;
• Identify safe people and support networks;
• Explore other supports and resources.

Children who are TARGETED by bullying

• Validate your child's feelings and empathize;
• Teach your child how to take a stand;
• Enroll your child in a skills course
• Model good relationships at home;
• Increase social interactions - hanging out with friends, walking home with someone;
• Avoid teaching aggression;
• Make it safe to report bullying;
• Intervene;
• Get the school involved - talk with school administrators and teachers;
• Access community-based support;
• Monitor the media your child consumes (TV, video games, online).

Children who ENGAGE in bullying

• Focus on the behaviour, not the child;
• Make sure positive feedback outweighs negative feedback 3-1;
• Explore ways of dealing with conflict;
• Model healthy relationships and communication at home;
• Enroll your child in activities;
• Monitor your child's behaviour;
• Build empathy by teaching them to put themselves in someone else's shoes.

Children who WITNESS bullying

• Develop assertive skills;
• Encourage reporting of bullying;
• Explain that by standing and watching you are encouraging the bullying.

2. If this issue does not get resolved, go to the next level (principal/manager/supervisor);

3. Set up a meeting with the organization;

4. Bring facts in writing - include specific details (save text messages, emails, etc);

5. Work on a safety plan with the organization;

6. Ask about bullying protocols and procedures;

7. If not adequately addressed, contact superintendent/trustee/director/etc. - In serious bullying cases contact police;

8. Use supports outside the school (schools can help with referrals).

Important to remember when reporting:

• Be calm and assertive
• Know which questions to ask
• Get to know the right people
• Take note of next steps & dates
• Gather information & do your research
• Follow-up
• Know your school's policies and use the correct procedures
• Be sure to take detailed notes of all conversations

Mental Health Support for Children and Youth

• Crossroads: 613-723-1623
• Youth Services Bureau: 613-260-2360
• CHEO's YouthNet: 613-738-3915
• Centre psychosocial: 613-789-2240

Support for parents:

• Parents' Lifelines of Eastern Ontario: 613-321-3211  
• Ottawa Carleton District School Board
• Ottawa Catholic School Board
• Conseil des écoles publiques de l'Est del'Ontario
• Conseil des Écoles Catholique du Centre-Est

For more information on bullying:

What is Bullying? What does it look like? What are bystanders? What types of bullying are there?

• PREVNet
• CHEO
• Canadian Red Cross